Regent's Park Open Air Theatre Is Back

A crucial part of London life returns for 2010

There are some things that every Londoner should experience, and the Open Air Theatre in Regents Park certainly fits the bill. This quintessential part of London life demonstrates all the admirable qualities of our society, from persevering whatever the weather, to the good manners practised by those wishing to be perceived as cultured. Well great news – it’s returning on the 24th of May!

If only we could screen the audience members

Nevertheless, our more long standing followers might well remember I gave a slightly more tempered review of the experience last year, having sat next to a belly-presenting, stella-loving, idiocy-embracing shell of a sentient man, and it’s true this does somewhat lessen the magic of the place.

You can take action to minimise the impact of the Mr sub-par intellectual man from Middle-England, such as opting for the more dumb downed plays during which they seem to be content to listen, follow, and laugh when they realise that others are laughing too.

The same can’t be said for some of our country’s finest classical plays, where such types tend to wear the face of a deer caught between the headlights for the first half-hour, followed by non-stop fidgeting for the rest of the play once they have finally deduced that they’ll simply never understand what’s going on. Which would be fine, were they not to occupy themselves by opening numerous cans of Stella, and making a sport out of their approach to each and every sip, by this I mean – BIG BREATH IN – SLUUUURP – BIG SIGH.

You can’t avoid them though – they get whisked almost directly to the entrance courtesy of an convoy of economy buses, a pity given most wouldn’t be able to survive/navigate the walk across the park.

So what is one to do?

If you can’t beat them, then joining them in a homage to dumbed down theatre seems to be the best option, if like me, you can only find their presence irksome.

“Into the Woods” is probably your safest bet, right at the end of the season – 5 August to 11 September.

Though we might well venture down early and hope the somewhat-inevitable Mr sub-par intellectual man from Middle-England doesn’t find “The Crucible” too great a challenge.